Becoming a mother is arguably one of the most rewarding and challenging things you’ll ever do. From spit-up on your shirt to hearing your little one say “mama” for the first time, it’s unquestionably a period of ups and downs… and hopefully comes with more ups than the downs, of course! There’s no doubt that becoming a mom will change you, and these changes can be understandably anxiety-inducing.

Nevertheless, when you become a mother, you become part of an exclusive club that every other mother before you has joined. By joining these ranks of tired and happy mothers, you too can finally experience all the joy of motherhood. It’s easy to get caught up in the hype of these new responsibilities, but it’s not always going to be sunshine and flowers.

At the risk of making a bold understatement, becoming a mom can absolutely be hard, and it’s not like anybody gives you a handbook of all of the things you should know before signing up for the role. Today, we’re going to discuss five things that pretty much all moms can relate to, that nobody ever warned you about before you actually gave birth!

There’s a Learning Curve

Many new mothers mistakenly believe that if they don’t do everything perfectly, then they’ve failed as a mother. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Not everyone is going to be a “natural” mother, and that’s totally fine! Just trust the process, and everything else will fall into place. Just because you made a small hiccup in the beginning does not mean that you’re a failure or not cut out to be a parent.

Moods Will Become Unpredictable

When you gaze lovingly at your little one, you may feel overwhelmed with unbridled happiness. Then, without warning, you may feel devastatingly sad. This can be quite alarming, but again, it’s quite normal. However, if you feel as though you need a little extra help with your changing moods, then seeking out mental health assistance for women and new mothers may be necessary for you. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help.

Your Standards of “Dressy” Will Change

Back in the early days of your relationship, you probably looked forward to date night eagerly. Or when you went out with your gal pals, you probably reached for the slinkiest dress in your closet. These days, what passes as dressed up will be leagues different than what was dressy before. Are your sweats and stained tee-shirt void of vomit stains? Then yes, you’re glammed up and ready to go.

Relationships are Different

Just like your standards of dressing up are now different, so are your relationships. However, it’s not just your relationship with your significant other that will change. You may find that your relationship with your own parents has changed, too. It’s possible that you might not ever look at your mother the same way again, especially knowing what she went through to raise you. In many ways, this can be a good thing, though!

You May Not Recognize Yourself

A new mother, you may find that you don’t even know who you are anymore. This is all part and parcel of becoming a mother. Your appetite and palate may change, for instance. If you were a health nut before, you may find yourself grateful for a free hand to shove a sandwich into your mouth in your free time. Your fitness may fall to the wayside. You might even find yourself doing things that you swore you’d never do, like distracting your child with the television or your phone just so you can sneak a shower.

Motherhood’s Not Perfect, and That’s Okay

The important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to be a parent. As a mother, you’re making tons of sacrifices and are doing your best. Yes, it’s easy to berate yourself if you struggle to be the idealized version of yourself, but you also need to practice self-compassion when navigating the tricky world of being a mom.

Perhaps nobody warned you about the rollercoaster of moods associated with being a new mother. You weren’t advised about how your relationships might change. And heck, you may find yourself needing to rush out and buy a brand new wardrobe to fit your changing body. Nevertheless, you’re a woman and a mother, and that means you’re a beautiful and strong human — who also happened to bring another human being into the world!