Google+ Authentic Parenting: How to Properly Approach Co-Parenting After a Divorce

Friday, July 10, 2015

How to Properly Approach Co-Parenting After a Divorce

A divorce is not easy on anyone. No matter if it is a clean breakup, or a messy one, it is especially
hard on the kids. Trying to be a good parent during a divorce is difficult, but it is also essential. How you handle the divorce will impact your child for a long time to come. If you are about to go through a divorce, or have recently gone through one, the advice below should help you when it comes to co-parenting.

The first thing to remember is that the divorce is between you and your spouse – the child should not be involved. If you are having any issues with your ex, you need to keep these between the two of you. Involving your child in the issues, or arguing where they can hear you, will be rough on the child. You can talk to your child about what is going on when they are old enough, but keep the dirty laundry stuff to yourselves.

Along these lines, don't ask your child to choose sides or try to turn them against your ex. Just because things did not end well between the two of you, does not mean your child should have a bad opinion of them. Even if, in your mind, your ex is not a good person or a good role model, it is important to not project this onto your child. You can explain to them in more detail when they are older, but for now, let them keep the good image of their parent.

During a divorce, chances are you are going to feel frustrated, upset, angry, or any number of other unpleasant feelings. When this happens, you need to keep them to yourself and let out your emotions somewhere else. If your child sees you crying or getting angry, they are not going to be able to handle it well. Go to the gym if you need to relieve some stress, or talk to a therapist if you need to let off some steam. You don't have to bottle up your emotions, just try to keep in them in check for the time being if you have children around.

Lastly, as long as your ex is not a danger to the child, be sure that both parents get enough time with them. Even if you are mad at your ex, taking time away with their child is not the solution. Set schedules in which each parent will see them, and split up holidays. Make sure that the schedule works for both parties, and that you stick to it. Also be sure that both parents have time to do fun activities with the child, so that no one gets preferential treatment. This will make everything run smoother, and make your child happier.

While many divorces are amicable, some are not. Issues may arise, and the child may become involved. If you need help dealing with the legal issues, it is recommended that you hire an attorney. Getting yourself a family lawyer will make everything run more smoothly, and as a result you'll be less stressed. Too much stress can have an impact on you, and your child will be able to tell. For everyone's sake, let an expert handle it. For those of you on a budget who think you can't afford a family lawyer, trying looking for one on an average tier. This means they may not have went to the most prestigious law school, but they still know what they are doing and they will charge less for it.

We hope that these few tips will help out you and your family. Just remember that divorce is hard on everyone, not just the child. Put as much thought as you can into how they might be feeling, and try to keep the divorce between you and your ex. If you can do this, then you and your family should be just fine.



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