Google+ Authentic Parenting: March 2014

Thursday, March 27, 2014

8 Things Not To Say To a Stay At Home Mom

1. What do you do all day? This has to be one of the most offensive, but also most frequent ones I get, though I must admit that as the kids have gotten older and more people know I also work several 'jobs', it's getting less. Running a household and raising kids is a LOT of work. There is always something to do. Personally, I co-own two businesses, work for both of them, write the occasional book and then there's this blog. Plus I unschool my two kids, that does take some time. Yes, here in Liberia I do have a cook and a gardener (who plays with the kids now and again), but I repair clothes, make new clothes, make my own curtains, go to the market to get fresh produce for our family to eat etc. No matter what their family looks like, wether they're homeschooling or the kids go to school or they have a cleaning lady or... Stay at home moms keep busy. Very few of us get to lay by the pool and drink cocktail all day (now wouldn't that be nice). The reason why people don't know all these things is that they lose interest as soon as you tell them you're a stay at home mom. They eyes go blank and they just move along.
2. It must be hard for your husband to support the entire family. Even though just one partner brings in the financial part, doesn't mean the other side doesn't work. There's just as much merit to going out to work as there is to staying home and keeping the boat afloat. Heck, the fact that one partner stays home even saves money (clothing, daycare, cleaning costs...).
3. It must be lovely to be home with your kids all the time. Yes, it is lovely, and it is awesome that we are at a point in our lives that we have the means to support our family on one income. But sometimes it can be horrible, hair pulling, dreadful. Stay at home moms often live in relative isolation and being alone with your kids all the time can take it's toll. There's no need to romanticise SAHM's.
4. Lovely, well but then you can afford it. I once made the calculation with a friend where both her and her partner have a low salary and NOT working for one of them was actually financially more attractive, since there would be tax benefits, no daycare to pay, less gas and other savings you make because you're home. Most families could afford for one partner to stay home, but it may require some sacrifices. My friend chose to stay at work even after the calculations, because she knew she'd miss the social setting that work provides.
5. Don't you have any ambition? Again, a pretty demeaning comment, doesn't really show that you have picked up any tact throughout the years. Deciding against a career for the benefit of your family isn't a lack of ambition, it's a choice. Most SAHM have made this choice knowing what the other side of the coin looks like. Ambitious women will find a way to channel their creativity. And even if one would lack ambition, but makes a lovely home for her family, isn't that a beautiful thing to do with one's life too?
6. How anti-feminist of you. This one often said with praise by men, with disgust buy women. The truth is, SAHM is a choice and feminism should be ALL about choice. If feminism is only about one specific path, then it's more like one of the -archy's it so violently opposes. I am a SAHM, I have kids and I am a feminist.
7. Well, I couldn't spend that much time with my kids. Then why did you have them?
8. What a waste of your degree! Personally, I believe in study as the formation of the mind, what you use that mind for doesn't necessarily need to be a job. In hindsight, I would have chosen a field of study that would have been more useful to me as a stay at home mother, but that's not because I chose wrong, that's because my studies had been chosen for me by my parents.

Are you a SAHM? What's the most annoying comment you've ever gotten?

photo credit: clappstar via photopin cc


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Wordless Wednesday: Art Journal


Friday, March 21, 2014

Are You Green/Natural/Attached Enough?

I'm in a lot of groups on Facebook. I mean A LOT. They're my social world due to lack thereof IRL.
The greater part of these groups focus on parenting, the natural kind, sometimes the unschooling and informed kind... Kind of a big soup where I pick and choose the things I like and let go the things I don't.

I won't enter arguments with people who see things differently - unless I see that they're really looking for some solution. I have the same attitude in life (though I must admit I have adopted this through trial and error).

Some things pass by that make me think, research further, maybe even adopt. Some things pass by and I go 'not my style'. And that's it.

Yet every so often, someone will say something along the lines of: "well, I do breastfeed and use cloth nappies, but I use a stroller and I put my kid in daycare, do I still belong in this group?"

I find this so odd.

If you find community somewhere that suits you, even if you don't adopt the 'full monty', that doesn't make you less than. It's about choice (Preferably informed choice). Any self respecting attachment/green/natural community should respect that, and if they don't, heck, you're in the wrong spot and don't worry about leaving.

If you're worried about not doing everything right, let me tell you a secret: none of us are doing it ALL right, simply because there's more than one right, there are lots of good ways to live and parent. If your style makes your family happy, than by all means, continue!

If you're feeling attacked, then you probably are in the wrong spot. If you're happy about the place, but just don't follow everything, then by all means stay. You can learn from the others, but they can also learn from you.

Do not worry about fitting the mould, take the trouble to carve your own path.


Thursday, March 20, 2014

What's the Cure for Whining?

Written by Patty Wipfler

Children Whining and How to Help We’d like to offer you a fresh way of looking at children whining, and some interesting solutions to try. We start with the observation that, like every other behavior children have, whining is important communication. We parents wish the message would come in some other form—any other form! But whining is news from your child, hot off the press. The headline is: “I feel alone! I feel powerless!” Usually, whining happens shortly after a child’s sense of connection to their parent or caregiver has broken. The ordinary things parents must do, like feeding little brother, cooking dinner, or talking to a friend on the phone, can eat away at a child's sense that he's connected and cared about. For small children in a big world, feeling disconnected gnaws at their spirits. They flash a signal for help: “I wannaaaa cooookkkiiieee!” It comes with a miserable expression and a body that can barely move. Once a child feels disconnected, any small task can bring up jumbo-size feelings of powerlessness. Having to get dressed when they want to stay in their pajamas, having to brush their teeth when they'd rather play with the cat, and having to say goodbye and go to school or day care can bring on whining.

Children whine when lots of feelings have backed up inside them. When they finally break into a good wail or thrash, they may be working through more than the frustration of not getting the cookie or the red truck. They may be draining the tension from issues like having a younger brother or sister, having to say goodbye to you every morning, or having just gotten over an illness. In any case, children need to shed bad feelings until they don't feel bad any longer. If the pile of feelings is high, this can take some time. Parents don't always have the time a child needs to finish the emotional task at hand. You may manage to listen to fifteen or twenty minutes of crying, and then feel the need to stop your child. If your child’s mood doesn’t improve, he wasn’t finished. It’s as hard for a child to have an unfinished cry as it is to be awakened in the middle of a nap. He’ll try to find a way to cry again soon. Something inside him knows that it will be good to finish the job. So listen again when you can. Your child will eventually finish his emotional episode, and make gains in confidence that both of you can enjoy.

Children Whining and How to Help
photo courtesy of christopher eriksen

 Comings and goings, moving from one activity to another, seeing you busy or preoccupied with other things, or having several siblings who compete for your attention all eat away at child's sense that all is sweet between you and him. Sometimes even when parents are available, full of warm attention at the moment, children can feel disconnected; children can't feel their love or caring because the feeling, “I’m alone,” has already taken over. Human feelings often paint an emotional picture that’s far from the reality of the situation. For instance, whining often happens toward the end of a sweet, close playtime during which you've done the things your child loves to do. You've done your utmost to make things good, but suddenly, you have a dissatisfied child, who moans, "You never do anything I want!" It's enough to make a parent feel: "I'm never taking you to the park again if this is the way you behave!" This happens because, at the prospect of the end of the good time, feelings of helplessness or loneliness stored up from earlier experience crop up and take over. The feelings my come from yesterday or from as far afield as infancy, they lurk in the child’s mind, and are brought into play by simple, everyday moments.

What’s the Cure for Whining? If we wanted to make a list of things that irritate parents, we'd find children whining near the top! It's a behavior that every child tries sooner or later. Some children fall into whining and can’t seem to climb back out. By the time a parent decides to search for advice about handling whining, he is usually fed up. When a child is whining, filling his request probably won't change his emotional climate for long. When children whine, the inner weather is cloudy, with a storm on the horizon. Filling his request might gain a parent a few moments of peace, but the child’s overall mood sinks back into a tone of “I am unhappy” soon again. Sending a child off to his room or punishing him for whining won’t improve the situation either. He might come back from punishment or time out a quieter person, but he won’t feel good inside. He will probably find ways to balk, to stir up difficulties with others, or to zone out. This persistent unhappiness is hard on parents. When we take the time and energy to try to solve a problem, we parents feel insulted when it doesn’t stay solved!

Children whining are children who are communicating important information

Whining children have real needs

A whining child probably won’t be satisfied by the attempt you make to help, but he does have a real need. He needs you. Not just the things you do. He needs to feel connected to you. Only a sense of connection can mend that awful out-of-sorts feeling that's bothering him. Children are built to feel close to the people they're with close to their parents, their caregivers, their grandmas and cousins and friends. When they can feel close and cherished, they behave with confidence. When they don't feel close to anyone, their behavior goes haywire immediately.

Your child’s feelings won’t be rational

Your child isn’t trying to manipulate you

When your child is whining, he isn't out to get you. He doesn't really want you to give in to irrational requests. He’s trying to signal that he needs your help. He has chosen something irrational to want, so that you will say, “No.” Then he can open up bad feelings. While he is crying, he will actually shed these feelings. If you listen, he will eventually notice your presence, notice your love, and feel much better about himself and his world. He’ll stop needing what he was crying for, because he has you. Try to picture him saying, “I wannnaaa cookkkiiee,” but meaning, “Please say ‘No.’ I need a good cry with your arms around me!”

You can help your child connect again

Whining indicates that your child’s emotional tension needs an outlet before he'll be able to regain his sense that you are on his side. Laughter, crying, and tantrums are typical ways children release bad feelings. A good laugh (but don’t force laughter by tickling), a good cry (without upset or punishment from you), or a good tantrum (without hurrying the child to finish) will cure that gnawing sense of helplessness or loneliness that causes whining. Once your child regains a sense of connection with you or any other member of the family, he'll be able to take charge again. He'll ask for what he wants, without the "poor me" tone. He’ll be easier to live with. So your energy will be well spent if you focus on rebuilding a connection with your child.

Try filling your child’s request once

A whining child does indeed need your attention for at least a moment or two. At first, you won’t really know whether getting the thing he asks for will help him feel connected and capable again, or not. His request may seem reasonable to you a drink of water, help with his shoes, one more turn listening to his favorite music. If giving him the thing he wants makes sense to you, go ahead and try it once. But if more whining follows, you can be sure that the real problem is his emotional "weather.” A storm is coming.

If he’s not satisfied, offer closeness and a clear limit

The cold tone that most of us use when we say, "No," serves to make a child feel even more alone and adrift in an uncaring world. It deepens the rut your child is whining in. If you can say, "Nope, no more cookies! Maybe tomorrow!" with a big grin and a kiss on the cheek, your child receives contact from you in place of cookies. If he whines some more, you can come back and say, "Nah, nah, nah, nah!" and nuzzle into his neck, ending with a little kiss. If he persists, bring him still more affection, "I'm your chocolate chip cookie! I’m all yours!" with a big grin. Then throw your arms around him and scoop him up. At some point, the affection you're offering will tip him toward either laughter or a tantrum. Both results, as odd as it may seem, are great for him. Laughter, tears, and tantrums help dissolve that shell of separateness that can enclose a child, as long as you listen and care. After a good cry (You just keep sweetly saying, "No, James, no more cookies," until he's finished crying.) or a good tantrum ("Yes, you really want one, I know, son.") or a good laugh ("I'm coming to give you big cookie kisses! Clomp, clomp, clomp!") he will feel your love for him again.

If you can't be playful, be attentive

I_0149Playful moments don't come easily to us when our children whine. So if you can't find a way to nuzzle your child or respond with humor to his whiny requests, it will work well to come close and keep saying, with as little irritation as you can manage, "No," "You need to wait," "I can't let you do that," "He's playing with it now," or "You'll get a turn, but not yet." Being very clear about the limit, and offering eye contact, a hand on his shoulder or knee, and whatever warmth you can muster, will help your child work himself into the cry or the tantrum or laughter he needs to do. Children know how to release feelings of upset. To get started, they just need us to pay attention to them long enough to communicate that we'll stay with them through this rough patch.

Allow for laughter, tantrums, or tears for as long as you have time and patience

Listening time can help a parent keep perspective when whining begins

The hard part about trying the experiments above is that whining triggers all kinds of irrational feelings inside of us. Whining kicks up feelings of resentment, exhaustion, and anger in parents. We feel like we’re being manipulated. We feel helpless. When our feelings surge, we don't think logically either. We react, usually behaving the way our parents reacted to our whining. The reactions we have to whining have been passed down through the generations in our families, each generation usually doing a milder version than the generation before it. So it takes some mental preparation to decide to move toward a whining child and offer connection, rather than placate him or punish him. Every parent deserves someone to listen to how hard it can be to care for a child or children. So finding ways to be heard by another adult who won't get worried or try to “fix” us is an important part of our job as parents. The Hand in Hand booklet Listening Partnerships for Parents outlines how you can create a listening exchange for yourself, so you have a regular outlet for the feelings that build up over the days and weeks with your child (join our Yahoo Group to find a partner). Even ten minutes of "venting" with a friend, out of earshot of your child, will give you a better chance of moving toward your whining child and connecting.

Here’s how it can work:

I was playing with a mother and her nearly four-year-old boy, Joey, in the sandbox. A good friend of his, Sam, was also playing there, several feet away. Joey had played with a plastic construction helmet, and had put it down. He was busy with a tractor when Sam picked up the helmet and put it on. Joey whined, "I want the hat! He took my hat!" He sat and looked at his mom, miserable. She got worried and said, "Do you want to go and talk to Sam about the hat?" and he whined, "I want you to go and talk to him. You do it." I invited the Mom to slow down the action, and indicated that she didn’t need to fix the situation. He was clearly unhappy, and mad, too. A helmet wasn't going to fix the feelings he was carrying. She did slow things down. She said, "OK, Joey, we can go and talk to him in a few minutes, but not now." He was able to begin to cry. She didn't try to pick him up or comfort him—he wasn't going to let her get that close. But she did stay right there. She looked at him, and listened as he showed his feelings. He cried, kept saying he wanted the helmet, and then proceeded to dig his feet into the sand again and again, not kicking sand, but pushing piles of it away from him and toward his Mom. She listened. He cried and pushed at the sand for several more moments, and then he was finished. His face relaxed. He asked her to help him with some other project in the sand. He felt satisfied, and together, they continued playing. He didn't need the helmet any longer. And his requests from then on were direct and confident. You might also be interested in our Podcast collection Antidotes for Anxiety. 

About the author:
Patty Wipfler is the founder and program director of Hand in Hand Parenting. Since 1974, she has focused on teaching listening, parenting, and leadership skills to parents. She has led over 400 residential weekend workshops for families and for leaders of parents in the U.S. and in 23 countries.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

A realisation

As I was cleaning the potty for the third time in two hours:

 photo credit: Moochy via photopin cc


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Pregnancy Nutrition: Your Questions Answered

Nutrition in pregnancy is really important, you need to take extra care of yourself as you go on this
physically and mentally challenging endeavour, but you're also building a human being with the nutrients you provide.
Pregnancy is often a time where insufficiencies show their ugly head, and if not dealed with swiftly, they can cause discomfort to even major ailments and complications.

It is said that many of the discomforts that pregnancy holds are in fact caused by lacks of certain vitamins and minerals.

I brought together a big set of links on nutrition in pregnancy, setting you off to a wonderful experience and your baby for a healthy start in life.

Focus on Foods

Whole Food Protein Sources for pregnancy on Kitchen Stewardship
35 Healthy Homemade Snacks For Pregnancy
20 Pregnancy Power Foods
Powerhouse Pregnancy Foods Your Doctor Probably Forgot to Mention on The Provision Room
Juices for Healthier Pregnancy and Breastfeeding on Toby and Roo

Focus on Nutrients

Maintaining Proper Iron Levels During Pregnancy on The Humbled Homemaker
Red Raspberry Leaf - Natural Pregnancy Relief
Using Red Raspberry Leaf Tea During Pregnancy and Postpartum on The Humbled Homemaker
Should Pregnant Women eat Liver on Rooted Blessings
The Importance of Salt Intake During Pregnancy on Authentic Parenting
Iron Deficiency Anemia in Pregnancy on Vibrant Wanderings

Do you have a nutrition related pregnancy question? Ask them in the comments below, I'll get you an answer!


Monday, March 17, 2014

Book Review: The Colic Solution

Colic is still largely misunderstood, the symptoms are varied, the underlying causes still remain to be found. A heap of different discomforts in the infant are heaped together under the term colic and cures are sometimes contradictory.

Colic can be a terrible thing to go through with your newborn. He is unable to communicate to you, is clearly suffering, and you are at a loss.
In The Colic Solution, author Nicolette Roux investigates colic in an insightful, to the point eBook that gives you lots of information about Colic and an extensive approach to finding a solution that suits you and your baby.

Nicolette cites a great deal of quality resources, but also draws from personal experience, thus bringing together an extensive array of options to make this a really interesting book for all families with little ones having to go through this terrible ordeal.

The book is written both for formula fed babies as for breastfed infants.


The Colic Solution is available as part of "The Early Years Essentials" mini bundle of the Essential Parenting Collection, offered by my affiliate partner Mindful Nurturing. The mini bundle sells for $19.97 and has a total retail value of over $66. The mini bundle contains these eProducts:

  •  The Colic Solution. Nicolette Roux 
  •  Twin Manibreasto: A Success Story of Milk and Multiples. Mercedes R. Donis 
  •  Oxytocin Parenting – Womb through the Terrible Twos. Susan Kuchinskas and Bryan Post 
  •  What Not to Say – Tools for Talking with Young Children. Sarah MacLaughlin 
  •  The Natural Parent’s Guide to Babywearing. Lauren Wayne 
  •  JUNO Magazine. (one year subscription)
To get more information about the individual products and the full collection click here.


Saturday, March 15, 2014

Sunday Surf - Reuse, Reduce, Recycle

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle

How to talk to kids


      Tuesday, March 11, 2014

      Laser Dancer Activity

      No thriller is complete without a bank or diamond heist. And the most glamorous way to rob a bank is to dance your way through laser beams. Now we’re not encouraging your kids to become bank thieves, but imagine if they could move like this!

      (By the way, the real trick is to send them to Capoeira classes.)
      So, we’ve come up with our own lo-tech way to do this. All you need is party streamer paper, a corridor of some sort and some masking tape. If you want to up the ante, get a timer (probably on your phone), and maybe even set a video camera at the end of the run (probably also on your phone). And we defy you not to try this with your kids…

      Setup is easy. Go to a corridor, or somewhere where the walls are relatively close together. Then create an obstacle course through the corridor by sticking the streamer paper from the wall on one side to the wall on the other. Not too close together, or it would be impossible. Mix between high, low, diagonals. The point should be to make it so that your child will have to bend, flex, balance, jump, crawl or slither to make it from one end to the other.

      Once the course is set, the objective is for your child to go from one end of the course to the other without breaking the streamer paper. Set a timer for 2 minutes, or if that gets too easy, make it 90 seconds. Have the ‘diamond’ on a chair at the end of the course, and set the video camera up there pointing back through the course to capture them going from end to end.
      Making it more challenging is easy. First, there needs to be a rule that there’s no touching or leaning on walls. Then once they can do it that way, have them redesign the course so that they would need to go from low to high one obstacle to the next, and get the ‘laser beams’ closer together.
      AND - let us know if you managed to have them do this without you having a go at it as well. We weren’t able to…


      Our partners at Freaky Rivet, the online club for kids whose mission is to get children moving, creating and exploring, are about to launch their social network for kids. This is a social network with a difference - kids will be rewarded for getting up off the computer and doing real world activities. The activities, all designed to be fun, and with minimal input from you (unless you want to get involved) range from exercise through to arts through to wordplay to nature, astronomy and much much more. Kids will also be encouraged and rewarded for creating and sharing their own activities through the club.
      Because they love us so much (or so they say!), they've offered all of our readers membership at 1 penny a month (it would usually be £4 UK pounds, so this is a discount of 99.75%!). We asked them why they still charge the penny, and they told us that this is for online security for kids - it means that they will be able to identify anyone on the site in case of inappropriate behaviour.
      Anyway, if you'd like to find out more when they launch, just fill in the form at the end of their video, and you'll get instructions for joining when they open their doors!


      Monday, March 10, 2014

      Amazing Offer - Only Valid Today!!

      The Essential Parenting Collection by my affiliate partner Mindful Nurturing is holding a FLASH SALE! Be fast, because this sale is only valid

      Entering the code MONDAY10 gives you 10% off this wonderful collection of 35 hand selected parenting eProducts. I went through each and every one of these resources and I can tell you, they are worth every penny and they'll give you lots of inspiration for your parenting. The total retail value of this collection is over $750, so at a little over $44 with this code, you know you're getting a good deal!

      A little recap of what's available:

      6 resources for pregnancy and birth:

      • From Maiden to Motherhood. Stephanie Brandt Cornais 
      • My newest eBook: The Postpartum Herbal Guide.  
      • The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don’t Tell You, What Corporations Try To Sell You, And How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line. Jennifer Margulis (audiobook) 
      • Birth Relaxation Kit. Mavi Gupta and Jeremy Dyen (audio hypnosis set and booklet) - this kit alone is worth almost double of the full price of The Essential Parenting Collection. I used it during my last pregnancy and it's a valuable resource for relaxing and reframing.
      • Simply Natural Pregnancy. Megan Kimmelshue 
      • Stay at Home Yoga. (Three Month Premium Subscription) Jennifer Hoffman
      If you're TTC or expecting, this kit really has EVERYTHING to start you off towards a natural, comfortable pregnancy and birth. I used many of these products during my last pregnancy and labour and can certainly vouch for them.

      • The Colic Solution. Nicolette Roux 
      • Twin Manibreasto: A Success Story of Milk and Multiples. Mercedes R. Donis 
      • Oxytocin Parenting – Womb through the Terrible Twos. Susan Kuchinskas and Bryan Post 
      • What Not to Say – Tools for Talking with Young Children. Sarah MacLaughlin - I personally think this is a book every person who interacts with kids should read.
      • The Natural Parent’s Guide to Babywearing. Lauren Wayne 
      • JUNO Magazine. (one year subscription)

      6 Child Development Resources:

      • Reaching for the Moon, A Girl’s Guide to Her Cycles. Lucy H. Pearce 
      • How Children’s Emotions Work. Patty Wipfler 
      • Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers. Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté (audiobook) - I'm currently listening to this one and loving it! Expect my review soon
      • The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School – Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More. Haley Kilpatrick (audiobook) 
      • Gender Neutral Parenting. Raising Kids with the Freedom to be Themselves. Paige Lucas-Stannard
      • Why Does He Do That? A Parent’s Guide to ASD. Stella Waterhouse

      • Positive Parenting in Action. Rebecca Eanes and Laura Ling 
      • Setting Limits With Young Children. Patty Wipfler 
      • The ABCs of Conscious Parenting. Lori Petro (eBook plus audio download) 
      • Raising Mindful Kids. Yvonne Woloszanskyj 
      • Parenting Softly. Bryan Post A Survival Guide. 
      • Positive Parenting for Children with ASD. Stella Waterhouse 
      • Keep Your Cool – How to Stop Yelling, Spanking and Punishing: What to Do Instead. Flo Gascon
      As positive parents, we can all use a little help now and again. These books go beyond the theory and offer you practical advice for day to day situation, ready to apply. A beautiful little collection for mindful parents. 

      • The Sane Parenting Challenge. Amy Phoenix (eCourse)
      • The Transgender Child (audiobook). Stephanie Brill & Rachel Pepper
      • Liberation Parenting Program. Teresa Graham Brett (eWorkbook and audio)
      • Calm Authority for Fathers. Marcy Axness (audio)
      • Embracing a Child-Centered Divorce: Because You Love Your Children. Rosalind Sedacca
      • 12 Steps to a More Natural Family Home. Emma Weatherall

      Gentle Parenting Coloring Pages. Hugo Smits
      Conscious Communication. Lori Petro
      HighSelfEsteemKids. Dr. Joe Rubino (audio)
      Mama is Having a Baby – A Journey to Tandem Breastfeeding (coloring book). Joni Rae Latham


      Only for today for $44.97. Don't forget to enter your code MONDAY10


      Saturday, March 8, 2014

      Perseverance, Determination and Commitment - Raising Mindful Kids

      Written by Yvonne Woloszanskyj
      Originally published on Mindful Parenting Skills

      So often I talk about the importance of certain virtues or character traits that we have. Virtues are gifts
      we are born with. They are like “spiritual muscles” which we are here in this world to develop. We develop them throughout life as we are guided and inspired by our parents, grandparents, teachers, friends and many others. There are also many times we don’t believe very much in ourselves, the thoughts in our minds are not positive and encouraging.
      We hear, “I can’t, it’s too hard, I don’t know how,” and so on, and so on. Sadly, these thoughts often win out if and when we don’t have an inner fire to keep moving forward no matter what…. a desire to be successful. If we are blessed, we have other people who may help light that fire within us. When this happens, the tools/virtues that can be called upon are perseverance, determination and commitment.
      These are the qualities that make us “stick with it” and keep going when:

      • we want something really badly
      • we think/believe we can’t
      • something is hard to do
      • we need to show ourselves and others that we can

      Perseverance: is being persistent. It is sticking with something,  no matter how long it takes or what might show up to stop you. Sometimes it can be our friends, parents or others that may not have the same dreams and goals that you do. When you make up your mind, you follow through doing whatever it takes to get there.
      * What other qualities or support might help you to persevere when things get tough?

      Determination: focusing your energy on something you are doing or learning and sticking with it until it is learned or finished. It is using your inner drive to do something especially when it isn’t easy or maybe, fun. It means even when something is really hard,  you keep going because you want to succeed.
      * Think about what helps you to focus your energy and stick with a task, even when you might not want to do it?

      Commitment: is about keeping your promises and agreements, to yourself and others. No matter how tough something may get, you stick with it. You finish what you started out to learn, master or accomplish. You see this a lot in the members of a sports team or in athletes. They give a 100%, holding nothing back. They keep going no matter what.
      * Do you have the self-discipline to do what you know you need to do and say you will do? Do you take our commitments seriously?
      When we use or call on perseverance,  determination and commitment anything is possible.

      About the author
      Yvonne loves actively nurturing mindfulness in children and her students in various ways. She is an elementary teacher, Virtues Project Facilitator, Kids Coaching Connection Coach and NLP Coach and Practioner. She has been a camp counsellor and program director for residential camps. She is passionate about nurturing authentic, mindful kids who care, communicate and contribute to their world with courtesy, compassion and love. She believes that more than ever before we have a sacred responsibility in our homes, our school, our communities and our places of worship to nurture each child as a precious gift entrusted to us. For our world to change they need to learn about the virtues within them and how to develop them. Such things as courtesy, compassion, respectfulness, cooperation, responsibility, caring, consideration, accountability, helpfulness, enthusiasm, initiative, unity, tolerance, acceptance and more. Visit her at Mindful Parenting Skills and


      Yvonne's book "Raising Mindful Kids" is part of the Essential Parenting Collection, a 35 eProduct collection to inspire parents about mindful guidance, pregnancy and birth, parenting the early years and child development, offered by my affiliate partner Mindful Nurturing.
      Get the full collection today for only $49.97 and get access to eBooks, audio courses, virtual yoga classes and much more.

      Click here for more information.

      Alternatively, you can get the Mindful Guidance mini bundle, which includes these 7 titles:

      • Positive Parenting in Action. Rebecca Eanes and Laura Ling
      • Setting Limits With Young Children. Patty Wipfler 
      • The ABCs of Conscious Parenting. Lori Petro (eBook plus audio download) 
      • Raising Mindful Kids. Yvonne Woloszanskyj 
      • Parenting Softly. Bryan Post A Survival Guide. 
      • Positive Parenting for Children with ASD. Stella Waterhouse 
      • Keep Your Cool – How to Stop Yelling, Spanking and Punishing: What to Do Instead. Flo Gascon
      The Mindful Guidance mini is on sale for only $19.97, a great deal for a set of products worth over $148. Click here for more info
      (and look at that really cute picture of my daughter and husband!)