Google+ Authentic Parenting: 25 Embarrasing Things Kids Say

Monday, July 22, 2013

25 Embarrasing Things Kids Say

As it's summer, we could do with some light and breezy content, can't we! I asked my Facebook likers about the most embarrassing thing their kid has said, this is what they came up with:

  1. My daughter announced loudly when I returned from the bathroom at a nice restaurant: "YAY MOMMY YOU POOPED! GOOD JOB!" Clapping and all. I had only peed, for the record.
  2. My son asked a woman with a full blown mustache....are you a boy or a girl.
  3. Before she could pronounce her 'L's in certain words, we were a a restaurant and she started pointing at a clock on the wall above a booth full of men and very loudly and excitedly kept shouting, "Cock! Cock!"
  4. In a line at the supermarket my 4 year old says "look mum those ladies are all having babies like you" needless to say none of them were pregnant!!!
  5. Look at my new pants!!!!! As he whipped down his trousers in the playschool playground in front of ALL the parents!!!!
  6. I made eye contact with a barefoot baby held by the mother in a grocery store. I said to my 6 yr old son in a normal voice, "I could just eat up those toes". He then yells out, "My mom wants to eat your baby!".
  7. We were standing in the elevator and my daughter pointed to a lady and said: "mommy who is that crazy lady?"
  8. Mommy, you have a great big GIANT butt!
  9. One day I was getting a bottle of wine and my 3 year old shouted "I don't like that kind" people heard, it was embarrassing, like I would ever have her drink alcohol!!
  10. My sons and I were at a local pool one day when my oldest who was 3 at the time joyfully yelled to a friend, "Mommy is going to have a baby come out of her big hairy butt!". (I had been watching homebirth videos recently and apparently that was his takeaway.)
  11. Mama, your breath smells like rotten onions - at music together class.
  12. when my son was 3 he realized people come in all sorts of skin colors. So noticing this, he enjoyed pointing it out (kind of like naming off shapes and letters lol). One day we went into the post office and were alone on our row of mail boxes when a man walked by and startled my son, who then loudly exclaimed: "That brown man scared me!" I know he meant it harmlessly, his dad is rather brown (half Japanese) and his cousins and aunts/uncles are African American. But when a stranger hears that yelled randomly it can look really bad!
  13. After watching 'Austin Powers' one night, I took her out to dinner. She saw a short person and yelled out "Look Mama!! There's a midget! They smell like cabbage!!" I hung my head to try to hide my laughter and get my composure then said to the crowd staring..."Sorry, we just watched 'Austin Powers'" then asked for a the very back....
  14. My daughter informed the waitstaff at the restaurant that she had "nipples" all over her body. She had goose bumps. It wouldn't have been so bad but I was just meeting my SO grandparents.
  15. Telling another parent that mommy was having "her bleed" (my period for the record)
  16. I had to get canastan off the doc, my son knows what bapathen is for his older brother. He went in to the bedroom and there was a wedding taking place just outside and shouted waving the cream "look mumms bum cream" he was 3.
  17. My eldest went through a phase of wildly pointing at buskers shouting " look, a bum, BUM". He meant "drum" which was what he was calling all instruments at the time.
  18. We have a pet named Ozzy and my 9 year old daughter heard a name on the news at a restaurant and realized she could rhyme Ozzy's name with it. So in a restaurant she starts chanting "Ozzy's from Benghazi, Ozzy's from Benghazi." I was like, "Nooooooooooo!"
  19. "Help!!" My then two year old, screamed it from the trolley in the supermarket.... You bet it got everyone's attention!
  20. 'We wipe front to back mama, because you don't want to get poop in your bagina!'
  21. She yells, "DON'T HIT ME!" in public Mimicking my telling her, "Please don't hit me. Gentle touches." I have never and would never hit her!!!
  22. my 3 yr old son said "oh mom I love your hairy penis!!"
  23. My daughter yelled in a restaurant out of no where, "remember when mommy peed her pants" ( my husband had tickled me one day till I peed my pants because I already had to go) well that had been a couple months. But she announced it in a busy restaurant. 
  24. My then 3 year old asked loudly 'do you think that lady is doing wees or poos?'
  25. He asked what tampax were for in his blazer beam voice at the check out! It was a young boy on the till!!!!! 
What's the most embarrassing thing your child has said? Share it in the comments below. 
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This post was added to the Tuesday Baby Linkup



  1. Replies
    1. Literally, had to change pants twice while reading that. Lol'ing to hard

  2. Oh, I love to laugh and this certainly got me! Thanks so much for sharing it with the Tuesday Baby Link Up Community. I featured it in today's link up at

  3. Oh I love to laugh, and this post certainly got me! Thanks so much for sharing with the Tuesday Baby Link Up Community. I featured your post in today's link up at

  4. This is excellent! My son has said a couple of these exact things!

    Thanks for linking up with the <a href="”>Tuesday Baby Link-Up</a>! :) Featuring you this Tuesday :)



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