Welcome to the February 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Honesty
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about authenticity through honesty. We hope you enjoy this month's posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Self-Expression and Conformity.
From my husband's coworker telling my daughter the food was finished (when it wasn't), to the gardener telling my daughter that there were big snakes in our garden, the lying doesn't stop.
Yet, when children lie, we consider it a serious offence.
And anyway you turn it, even though it's a repeat offence and even institutionalized for most people, lying isn't valued in our society.
So why should we model lying?
Is it because we don't care or don't want to take the time? Again, clearly not, because both people who lied to my daughter in the recent weeks did take the time to create an imaginary tale and stick to it.
Sadly, I think the issue is much more profound. I think we lie to children v-because
- We think they're stupid and won't understand the truth
- We fear their reaction and want to create shortcuts
- We don't consider that they should know the truth
- We don't value their opinions.
People lie to children simply because they are children. Adultism at its worst.
- Why Is It Considered Normal To Lie To Children? - Laura at Authentic Parenting wonders why people lie to children on a regular basis
- A Lie Is A Lie - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama outlines ten reasons why she believes parents lie to their children on a more than casual bases.
- Telling Truths - Survivor at Surviving Mexico writes about the difficulty in raising a bi-cultural child when cultural norms are not mutually exclusive, specifically in the area of lying.
- Honesty in Illness and Death - Laura at WaldenMommy:Life Behind the Red Front Door writes how she and her husband strive to be open and honest with their Herd of children about tough subjects, especially death.
- Talking Honestly About Death - Amy W. at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work, is glad she chose to be honest with her children about the deaths of their pets, despite her fears of upsetting them.
- Freedom through Honesty - At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy speaks to how honesty allows us to break free of the chains which bind us.
- Guilty Children? - Jorje of Momma Jorje touches on the many ways lies (and accusations of lies) have impacted her abilities as a parent.
- Choosing Our Words: Everyday Honesty With Children - In her guest post at The Badass Breastfeeder, Alice discusses the importance of being honest with children, even when it seems easier not to.
- Truth/Lies...Accuracy, Honesty...Love - Mari from Honey on the Bum talks about how a shift in perspective helps her deal with inaccurate statements and secrets with her kids.