Whining is probably on top of the list for Most Frustrating Behavior for Parents, the shrilling voices, the repetition and the fact that we too - when we were children - were quickly suppressed when it occurred.
But what is it all about?
Getting an insight in why whining happens will give you the tools to cope and avoid, as whining is always a symptom of an underlying condition. And, same as with any physical condition, in order to heal, we must look at the cause.
Whining is ALWAYS a symptom of imbalance.
The imbalance can be on the side of the child: tired, hungry, overstimulated... but most often, the imbalance is on the parental side.
Noticed that your children get whiney when it’s just not appropriate? Correct. They have noticed your preoccupation and react on it.
The spiral is unveiled: stressed parents get whiney kids get frustrated parents, get screamy kids... no need to finish this sentence.
Whining should therefor be seen as an invitation instead of a source of frustration.
Your child may be whining about the walk being too long or the candy not the type they want... that’s never what it’s really about. Your child is telling you: “I feel stressed”, “I am imbalanced”, “I sense that you’re not well, and it’s making me uncomfortable”.
If obvious needs for food, shelter and relaxation have been ruled out on your child’s side, then take a look at where you stand.
Have you been stressed? Have you been preoccupied? Did you take time to connect to your child?
Again, see the whining as an invitation to relax together.
Some quick fix relaxation techniques:
- Take a deep breath together, breathe out through the mouth, repeat
- Sit down and hug each other
- Look your child in the eyes and tell her you love her
- Do some yoga poses together. I like doing cat’s breathe and then child’s pose whenever we’re getting overwhelmed at my house, and my children are happy to join in. Though my son mostly just crawls under my cat and pull’s my daughter’s hair in child pose.
How do you handle imbalance in your family?
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