Welcome to the Fabulous Hybrid Blog Carnival. Our topic this spring is Change! This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Blog Carnival hosted by The Fabulous Mama Chronicles and Hybrid Rasta Mama. This month our participants reflect on change in all of its many forms. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Growing up, I used to love novels about change. The kind where the lead character spends one life altering summer somewhere and comes back anew, or a group of kids trek through the mountains and find not only true friends, but their true self too.I was all about change: new hair every three months, new clothes, new look... Obviously it was all about escaping, becoming something I am not.
Now, I have changed from when I was in my teens, quite a lot. Especially in the way that I do not pursue change anymore, quite on the contrary. I have learned to embrace myself for who I am. I do not need another hair color or clothes that are the latest fashion, or nail art or colored lenses. I am what I am. I am me. And I am not regretful about it.
Sure, there’s an occasional bout where I miss the girl I was, and I won’t vow that I’ll never dye my hair again (since I promised my daughter we’d try henna together shortly), but I don’t need it anymore. I have settled into my skin.
I think motherhood had a great deal to do with it, as it does show you the bigger picture of things, and one more easily foregoes superficial things. Probably my partner too, since he does love me unconditionally. But most importantly, I have changed. I have realized that I too can love myself unconditionally, even though it’s hard and quite contradictory to what I’ve been thought growing up. I can. I do.
Isn’t that one of the most important things we can model to our children? Unconditional self love. How radical is that!
That I’ve realized that I’m actually quite awesome a person doesn’t take away that I don’t notice my flaws. And I have a great many of them.
Change is still something I aspire to. I wish to change my anger into something more constructive, for one. I will try to work on myself, to become an even better person, an even better parent. But I accept that perfection doesn’t exist and that I am ME.
How about you? Where are you on the road to self love and self acceptance?
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Visit Hybrid Rasta Mama and the Fabulous Mama Chronicles to find out how you can participate in the next Fabulous Hybrid Carnival!
Visit Hybrid Rasta Mama and the Fabulous Mama Chronicles to find out how you can participate in the next Fabulous Hybrid Carnival!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants. It will be updated by 3:00pm PST on Monday. April 30th:
- Unschooling My Heart - Patti at Canadian Unschooler discovered that Unschooling her kids was EASY compared to the bigger change required to Unschool her heart.
- Change (Variety) - Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet writes about how variety is the spice of life.
- No More Threats - Amy at Presence Parenting flips the idea of parental control through threats on its head, for good.
- Why Are You Mad??? Turn Off the T.V and Meditate - Destany of They Are All of Me discusses limiting stress by focusing more on your Inside self.
- Co-ed Sleepovers? Changing My Mindset – Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama takes a hard look at her previous beliefs about sleepovers.
- Change Can Mean Puddles - Jorje of Momma Jorje has had to clean up some puddles after major changes.
- On Acceptance - Laura at Authentic Parenting writes about how she ditched the constant longing for change and came to accept herself as she is.
- Blissed Out on Birth, Drunk on Baby Skin - Melissa from Mothers of Change passionately explores the changes she would like to see come to the maternity care system, and our universal love of the smell of a newborn baby.
- Changing My Mindset, One Challenge at a Time - Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles speaks candidly about her challenges in changing how she parents.
- Because Mommy Said No - Dawn of Raising Natural Kids discusses the use of a common phrase that makes Mommy out to be the bad guy when, in reality, she is making decisions out of love.
- Through Adversity We Grow - Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children chooses to take a positive view on change and growth.
- Life is Change - Rae of Ital Livin' writes about the large changes her family has made within the last year.constant in life.
- A Changing Voice - Jennifer at Our Muddy Boots discusses how in order to grow change is unavoidable. That does not mean the process is easy though.
- Being. Changing. Believing. - Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work reminisces on the changes that have shaped her adult life thus far, and molded her into an adaptable, but still type-A, believer in change.
- Motivating Change In The Face Of Apathy - Brenna at Almost All The Truth is asking the question many of us who actively work to change the world ask ourselves: how do we get people to care?
- She Changes Everything She Touches - Change is the only thing we can count on in life, and Jen in Canada examines some of the biggest things she'd like to tackle before the birth of her second child.
I can really relate to this post. I used to dye my hair regularly, have nice clothes, wear the best makeup, and do what I could to present myself in the best physical light. But for who? Not for me. Honestly, all that did was eat up time. Since motherhood sucks away “free time” I have learned to embrace plain, old me. Gray hairs abound. Makeup…what makeup? Nice clothes? Ha! I consider clean clothes to be a bonus. It is so important to model self love to our children, especially in a society where this is not the norm. I want my daughter to grow up loving who she is and not the idea of who she should be based on society’s ideas.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful post and for participating in our first Carnival!
Love this! Motherhood definitely changes the way we think about change! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteDawn - Raising Natural Kids
This was a beautiful post. It sounds like you have struck a wonderful balance and have learned the changes you want to make FOR YOU vs. the ones you felt compelled to make for others. That is a hard balance to strike, so well done. I think you are completely right on when you said that we should model self love to our children. Right on, sister.
ReplyDeleteWow, awesome post. It is so true that self acceptance is a wonderful gift to give our children, and the best way to impart that gift is to model it in ourselves. =)
ReplyDeleteSince becoming a mother I also find myself more accepting of my appearance as it is, and having a partner who recognizes the beauty in me no matter what state I am in is also encouraging. My son loves to lift my shirt and kiss my stretch-marked belly saying;"nice bedaine mommy!" or kisses the top of my less-than -perky boobs saying "good boobies mommy" which I find endearing. It has made me realise that there is more to me than just what I look like, that how I AM is more important and more noticeable than whether my skin is flawless or I ma sporting the most stylish clothing (as I am wearing pjs most of the time anyways!). And I like this new-found confidence I have that doesn't rely on how pretty I am on the outside.
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