Google+ Authentic Parenting: The Parenting Mirror

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Parenting Mirror

Image: Oana Hogrefe Photography
Parenting can offer the ultimate opportunity of overwriting the mistakes in your own education. If you open yourself up to change, in time, and with a lot of conscious effort, you can become a totally different person. Becoming a parent is a life altering experience in itself, no matter how you approach it.
I think that becoming a mother or a father always has a positive effect on a person. I have yet to meet someone who became a lesser man or woman because he or she had a child.

But if you allow yourself to open up, to experience parenting fully, to be fully present and conscious, then it can be very confrontational. For many people, this confrontation is too scary to face.

Every person in your surrounding mirrors your true self to you, but nobody does it better then our children. After all, they are around to see every detail, even the ones you wish would go unnoticed. They echo the words you speak and they mimic your behavior. What they pick up easiest are often the things you don’t know about yourself.

So the next time your child behaves in a manner that bothers you, try to figure out if it is not something that bothers you about yourself. If he says something you dislike, maybe it’s time to revise the way you speak to him.
Accept your child’s behavior, not as a critique on your character, but as an act of affection. After all, he only mimics you because you mean the world to him.

“If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should examine it and see that it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves.”
- C.G. Jung


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5 comments:

  1. "he only mimics you because you mean the world to him" So very true!!!

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  2. I absolutely believe this. My daughter is 4 1/2 now and I've experienced the things I knew that I didn't want to model... that by shifting in myself I automatically grew and evolved. And also the things I didn't really know I did until I saw and heard them in her. First one was when she started saying, "I'm sorry" all the time for everything as soon as she could speak. I was so shocked. Then I realized that I do that. I say, "I'm sorry" if I bump into an inanimate object! What the heck. I've worked on that one a lot now. It wasn't good for my relationship either.
    This is a great post. So important.

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  3. Great post and quote!
    It is so true... A chance for us to become better by evolving in our parenting styles! I love the concept! Learning through my child...

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  4. Linking to you again! :) http://freeyourparenting.com/2011/11/20/sharing-sunday-17/

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