Google+ Authentic Parenting: How To Raise a Female Misogynist

Friday, October 7, 2011

How To Raise a Female Misogynist

Some time ago, I was watching America’s Next Top Model. On the rare occasions I get to watch cable, reality TV is one of my not so guilty pleasures. Especially the kind of shows with a spunk of glamour and glitter.
My father walked in and watched about one second of it, where the girls in the show were acting more than stereotypical, screaming and jumping around because of the arrival of “Tyra Mail”.
“Women are so stupid. Look at them. Aren’t you more intelligent than to watch this? Guess you’re not, you’re just a woman too.”
Just a few things he exclaimed while he stayed put to watch the rest of the episode with me.

I grew up around such comments. But it never was as clear as this time, as I had been away from home for so long and came to the house this time with an altered mindset.
I grew up hating women, even my own mother, because they were silly and ignorant. Intelligent women were rare. Probably I assumed this attitude to gain my father’s love or attention.
For a long while I have thought this. I have lived by it. I didn’t get along well with women, because I felt superior to them, because I had them figured out.
Comments from a university professor that I was “funny and that proves my intelligence, since humor is a rare quality in women, only the intelligent ones possess” actually made me proud, instead of angry and frustrated at the slandering of my gender.

The women I did look up to, were the ones who had made it in a mens world, by becoming cold and bitchy and anti-feminist. That was what I aspired to and thought it took to gain my father’s approval.

Now I know that my father’s approval and unconditional love are simply non-existent and I am not looking for them any more. The couple of years I have spend in the presence of all these intelligent, enlightened women in the birth and parenting community have changed me. Have opened my eyes and have reversed my brainwashing.
It is possible to undo an entire childhood and adolescence of conditioning.

But it got me thinking... How many girls grow up with these comments day in day out, and don’t even notice how harmful they are. How many of these girls grow up to be feminists, renouncing everything that is feminine about themselves and thinking they are the superior for it?

Feminism is about enlightening each other, caring for all females, no matter what their situation is. Instead of aspiring to change all that is feminine, to ‘overcome’ such statements.



  1. Yikes. Seeing those words your dad told you made me sad. Everywhere I turn there is someone telling me that I am stupid, or irrational, or crazy or I don't make any sense. Sigh. Those are usually men.

  2. Yeouch. Your father sounds like deplorable man. Although if his idea of "woman" only comes from those wretched reality TV shows that seem to go out of their way to portray both genders in the worst light possible, it's not hard to see where he got those ideas, wretched and wrong as they are.

    It's depressingly common for men to diminish and demean women's feelings and opinions by calling her "irrational", "emotional", "bitchy", "on the rag" whenever she says something he doesn't agree with, or if she calls someone out on their douchebag behavior. It's a manipulative tactic to control the target and shut them down.


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