Google+ Authentic Parenting: Just A Silly Love Song? (rerun)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Just A Silly Love Song? (rerun)

I don't listen to the radio a lot, simply because we don't ave any in Congo. I'm not really up to date with music, but I get my dose when I'm in Belgium.
Last week, we were driving and the radio was on. I heard this new Belgian hit (you hear it everywear at least 27 times a day). It's a slow 'love'-song and it's really the hit of the moment. I bet lots of women drool over it and feel flattered when some special boy dedicates it to her, or asks the DJ to put it on. I bet new couples are making it 'their' song, maybe even the one they'll be slow-dancing to on their wedding one day. I can already see the sparkly eyes of young women, filled with romance and emotion.

Next to the fact that I don't like that singer and think the song really sucks, I am appaled.

Now why would I care about a silly love-song?

Here's some of the lyrics:
"I wish you were a little bigger, Not just big but really fat. Doors you would no longer fit through, In my bed you would have to stay"
"I often wish that you had feathers, I'd keep you in a giant cage. All day long I'd sit and watch you, I'd sing for you and that would be okay."
"I wish you were a little slower, Not just slow but paralyzed, Then I could plug you into a socket, So you could never run away."

The song is by Milow and is called 'You and Me', here's the music video for it, if you want to listen to it.

Is this really today's idea of romance? Of love? Is this what women are made to believe love is like? This has nothing whatsoever to do with love, but rather with obsession and abuse. How can one think this is a good idea?
Love is about trust and respect and a deep care for one another, not about possession and weird Stockholm Syndrome aspirations.

How is it that we live in a culture that romanticises this abuse? Have we really gotten nowhere? Is this what all these years of feminist activism has gotten us? Cultural adoration of distorted relationships?

This song is juts one example, but it is such a clear symptom of what is wrong with our society's view of love and relationships, that I could not let it pass.

I've gone on rather long for the sake of a post, but I promise, I will come back and talk about how stalking and manipulation are also idealized romantic fantasies.



  1. Oh dear g_d those lyrics are awful and rather abusive as you so rightly point out. I don't know if I can bear clicking on that video... *sigh*


  2. Scary! Totally agree with you!
    I have not heard it here in South Africa!

  3. I have often found that people hear the melody and never actually bother listening to the lyrics. It's strange what songs have to say about love when you really listen to them. And to think, these messages are going into our heads without us really being aware of it most of the time. Now that is scary!

  4. I am fondly reminded of such treasures as Every Breath You Take, by the Police, as well as Goodnight and Go, by Imogen Heap. Stalker songs are, for whatever reason, very popular "romance" songs. Maybe a lot of us know how unrequited love feels? Creepy, either way.

  5. I think the song is intended to be a farce, but your point is well taken. At the core it's a possessive, controlling, almost dangerous perspective.

  6. Arual, I thought about Every Breath You Take too. Always thought that damn song was as creepy as hell. restraining order anyone?

  7. @Laura, indeed, I think the whole thing is inteded to be funny, but often in jokes lies what we find true but can't really admit (homophobic and xenophobic jokes, anyone?) And as Arual pointed out, it's not just the one song. Yes it's exaggeration, but there is a line of truth...


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