Google+ Authentic Parenting: What about the practice?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

What about the practice?

A while back, I asked on my FB page what people would like to see differently on this blog, even though I was actually looking for ideas on the appearance of the page, I got a little remark about the content. A reader said she found most natural parenting blogs to be very theoretical, to be mainly about what not to do, and to lack ideas on how to do things in practice.


I wanted to take the time to consider that question and discuss it here in a post. It is true, many of the natural parenting blogs and sites spend quite some articles discussing philosophy, theory, reflections... I have to admit that this blog is particularly focused on thoughts and reflections of authentic parenting and natural living and less on “how to’s”.

Now there are plenty of sites out there that do give a lot of practical information, I’m thinking of Code Name: Mama, Hobo Mama, Natural Parents Network, Connected Mom and The Natural Child Project specifically, but there are many others that I must be forgetting. Yet I spend a lot of time pondering on philosophical things, pointing fingers at paradoxes, analyzing behavior etc... That’s just my nature, and thus the nature of this blog. But even more so, I think analysis and self-reflection are the basics of authentic parenting and green living. There is just so much unlearning and de-conditioning to do that it is important that we spend time on the theory.

Moreover, there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ approach to authentic living. Everyone needs to find their own tools that work in order to achieve their goals, ad these goals may vary much from one family to the next.

There isn’t just one ‘authentic parenting’ or one style of authentic living. There are plenty. And I bet it will look hugely different if you’d take a look in families trying the lifestyle. To me, authentic living is more of a journey than a destination. It would be incredulous to give you a set of tricks that are a sure fix, because they just don’t exist. Anyone who claims they do, is a fraud. Life is just not something you can apply a set of rules to to ‘make it work’, to make it authentic.

Yes, I can share with you things that I do or try and that work for me and you can try them on for size. They may work for your family or they may not.

As I said, the theory, the reflection, the unconditioning, that’s the most important part. How you apply this, is up to you, depends on your character and conditions. If you integrate the theory, if you define the things that are wrong, become conscious about them, I trust you will find a way to live accordingly. Though it may take time and trials and errors.
Furthermore, I find that much of the practical advice that is out there, leans very closely to coercion or tricking your children into doing what you want them to do, while this blog is more about defining for yourself why you want your children to do these things and reprogramming your reactions to these ‘unwanted behaviors’, redefining what you hold to be true.
And anyway, I am just a parent, like most of you. I am only sharing my journey, my thought and reflections. It happens that I come across something fabulous that works for my family, but I don’t pretend it would work for everyone. I don’t believe it is necessary that we all follow the same path. There are a great many roads that still have the same destination.


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3 comments:

  1. Excellent! I absolutely agree..I think with this type of parenting needs to come less with a how to guide than any other! Once we unlearn all of the rubbish, what you need to do surfaces naturally. At least, that is what I'm finding so far...I'm finding healing myself to be the crucial part...without dealing with my own emotions it just wouldn't be possible to parent this way...

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  2. What is "Natural Parenting" as opposed to whatever else there is? I'm pretty sure most of us do mostly natural parenting no?

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  3. My opinion on natural parenting is that it's instinctual. It's not based on what you're supposed to do as advised by marketing companies, dr's from 1950 or formula companies. It's not based on our own emotion from our upbringing. It's what we would naturally do with our children if we didn't live in 2011 and have financial obligations to work 40 hours a week or have ingrained in us that if we shower our children in love and attention we will spoil them...
    Just my opinion though...and no, I don't agree that most people parent like this...and mostly it's not their fault they just don't know (or want to know) any different...it is easier to be more emotionally disconnected from our children than it is to invest in them so greatly.

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