Google+ Authentic Parenting: Emotional Circle of Infertility - Part II

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Emotional Circle of Infertility - Part II

written by Carina Freeman

5 steps 
Communication is the key, and we must realize there's no right or wrong way to feel. Getting in touch with your feelings of anxiety, anger, and depression will help you know what you need. Once needs are identified, clearly and specifically tell your partner how to help you release those feelings. Some of us need a hug; others need to be alone, while some want a pint of rocky road ice cream. You know what is best for you. Ask your partner what they need rather than assuming that you cannot give it. This will also bring you closer to your partner with a deeper respect for each other.

Adopt a loving and accepting attitude. 
Despite your infertility you deserve love. Accept yourself just as you are. Stop the self blame and self guilt. Leave the "if only" and “what if’s” at the door and learn to accept yourself, your partner, and your relationship. This may not change the situation, but it will certainly change the way you look at it.

Try holistic treatments
Get a massage or try acupuncture. These treatments have been proven to increase fertility while decreasing stress.

Blow off some steam
Find ways to temporarily escape the day-to-day of infertility. Go shopping. Get a new pair of shoes or a purse. Take up a new hobby like a cooking or a quilting class. This will help balance the intensity of your journey. Try a two-month break from the routine of keeping ovulation charts and records. This can also be helpful in reducing stress. I know, couples are rarely open to taking such vacations, especially when there is a concern about the woman becoming less fertile with each passing month. However, keep in mind it’s almost guaranteed that the relationship of a couple will be affected by an infertility journey do not neglect your relationship. (see tip 5)

Bedtime stories
Resting Couple - Ernst Ludwig Kirchner
When it comes to intercourse, many couples often refrain from intercourse except during the time of the woman's ovulation - a practice that rarely has positive emotional consequences. During your two month break, have intercourse freely with no intentions of getting pregnant. Have intercourse in different places.  Change your hair for bed time. Wear something sexy to bed. Have some fun. Spice it up.

So to recap
Communication is key
Accept and love yourself
Give holistic treatments a try
Take a break
Don’t neglect your relationship, spice it up


“Some of the most common emotions women experience due to infertility include:
Depression (77%)
Anger (72%)
Anxiety (56%)

“Women dealing with infertility have markedly higher anxiety and depression scores than other women. Their stress level correlates with the type and cost of treatment. The more complicated and expensive, the more anxiety these women reported.”

I hope this will help. If you need further assistance please don’t hesitate to contact me so we can begin to work on a personal mind and body plan for your fertility journey. Please understand my free trial ends Feb 15th. As I always say don’t underestimate the toll infertility is taking on your mind and personal relationships.

About Carina
I am a certified wellness fertility coach.
I am there for every aspect of a woman/couples infertility journey. If advice is needed, I give advice so they can become clear and centered in every aspect of their life...not just their fertility. I give suggestions about their next treatment so the couple can feel confident about what is ahead. I give positive encouragement when they are feeling down, or if they just someone to talk to who understands. My primary job is making sure they are ready for a baby mind and body...specializing on the mind and helping them "create" the life they deserve.



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