Google+ Authentic Parenting: The Roles We Play

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Roles We Play

I recently got to thinking about the many different roles we as parents can adapt.
There's the friend, the dictator, the teacher, the guide, the absent, the psychologist...

I sometimes find it easy to think of myself in this fashion: what role am I playing now? Is this what I want to be for my child? Is this how I want her to see me?

If we start considering the different roles we get to play in our child's life, it gets easier to shun those we don't want and priviledge those we like. Most of these behavioral patterns are subconscious. Getting mindful about them allows us to change.

Ask yourself what roles your parents played, how you as a child viewed them. Do they concurr with what you are doing as a parent? How did you feel about your parent's roles? Would you have liked them to be different?
It is in your power to change how your child sees you.


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1 comment:

  1. I see myself in several of those roles (not "absent" really...I'm either right there with them or checking on them every so often while they are in the care of family or a trusted friend).

    Even the dictator, although not too frequently. I think that as our children develop a trusting relationship with us and understand that we make choices that benefit them and will make them happy and safe, sometimes we have to make choices that they don't immediately understand and aren't happy about. If they have an overall sense of trust and cooperation with us, and feel that most of the time they do get a say in what happens with them, they don't take it so hard when we have to leave the playground or when we can't play with the stove.

    But being a mother includes most or all of those roles, and none, because being a mother is its own special role. I also don't see "mothering" used as a verb among non-attachment-parents. "Parenting" is, but not "mothering." And that says something about the view of mothering, that those of us who do use it as a verb feel differently about it.

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