Google+ Authentic Parenting: Toys: What Are They Worth

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Toys: What Are They Worth

Many a time have I been astonished at how possesive parents are of their children's toys. They don't refrain from yelling at other people's kids because they might break it. They would rather pull something out of a baby's hands than let him take it home to return it later. They yell at their own kids when they break a toy.

Channapatna Toys 
In conversations about possible evacuation (we do live in unstable territory), I have heard parents say 'but what about the toys' and then go to the extent of leaving half their children's toys in Belgium, so they can only play with them for two months out of 12, in fear of the toys getting stolen.

If toys have such power over parents, why then should they be so confused when their children won't share them? This possessive behavior - over any object for that matter - only teaches the children to 'defend' their objects, if not for their own gain, then for the love of their parents, because if the parents value it so dearly, it must be worth fighting for. Surely mama wil be happy if she sees how I guard my property. How confused must that child be when the parent then screams 'stop! Share your toy!'.
If a child hears nothing during the day but possesive nouns, don't be surprised if he in turn turns out possessive.
Moreover, if you call your child's toys his, then they are also his to break and his to mourn over. It relieves you from the right to get angry about breakage.

No object is worth the tears of a child. Toys are merely replacable things - objects of diversion. They needen't cost much to entertain your child, and if they did - and end up broken - you only have yourself to blame to have fallen in the trap of commerciallism.


1 comment:

  1. I just read this now and must say I agree with you. A few days ago our DD aged almost 4 years decided to cut her doll's hair. And DH got so upset and took her scissors away. I couldn't understand the problem. I'd rather her cut the dolls hair than her own, and even if she cut her own it'd grow. Let her try it. there are times we don't allow toys to come with us soemwhere - but again I wonder why. So what if it gets lost - our girls aren't overly attached to any toy so would be sad for a day but that's it. Just a sadness that Mommy and Daddy could help them through. I cringe at the thought of certain levels of dirt and so have once or twice refused to let hte girls bury their toys in the garden only to turn around and realize they'd done it anyhow. Its remarkable what our newer front loading washer and dryer can clean without destroying.

    Though it's been a work in progress. There were times when the possession seemed to be more important than the feelings of my child. I'm happy to say that by baby number three I've moved passed most of those thoughts and am moving passed even more each day.


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