I talked about spirals of negativity in a previous post and I wanted to take it one step further in this one and apply it to parenting.
I see a lot of people getting into these downward spirals about their parenting choices too. And it is easy to fall into that trap, because there are so many options and so many people doing it differently than the way you are parenting. Especially if you have chosen a less mainstream parenting course, you will be prone to ask yourself questions every once in a while. To ask yourself if you and your child wouldn’t have been better off if you’d chosen X, and see Y’s child, he’s not doing Z and the kid is a genius...
Of course, I urge all parents to revise their choices every once in a while. To make up a balance of what is working, what is not, what could go better and change accordingly, but this needn't be done in negativity or in ‘the grass is greener’ kind of reasoning.
|A Woman Thinking, Awa|
Think first of what you do/have and love about your parenting (if you feel the need, you can even make this into an exercise and jot this down). Then think of what frustrates you, what you miss, what you wish you had or did. Then rationally, consider all of the negative points and either
discover they are just useless frustrations, that they wouldn’t really change a whole lot or don’t matter all that much in the big picture
find solutions for integrating these things in your parenting style.
If you spend your time in useless frustration and pondering, you will loose precious time and send yourself into a negative state that could easily be avoided. You and your family will benefit from trying to avoid these spirals of negative - and unproductive - thinking.