A while back, my daughter sprayed perfume in her eyes. Of course, this happened after I told her to put the perfume bottle back because she could get urt.
As I rinsed her eyes with physiological serum, I felt an urge to say: "I told you so." (Don't worry, I didn't), because that's what we do.
When our child gets hurt for something we have warned them against, how often do we as parents rub it in? How often do we gloat in the opportunity to show off our parental superiority, and rejoyce in our 'know it all'-ism. Of course, this isn't something we deliberately do.
I think few parents actually want to gloat their children's misery. It is just another imprited thing we have to unlearn.
|D Sharon Pruitt on Flickr|
Indeed, there is little room for "I told you so" or "you see what happens when...". They are all statements that
- do not help the situation
- shame the child and
- show little empathy
Next time your child does something that goes against your every warning, with bad results, notice how you feel. If you are feeling frustrated, replace that emotion with empathy. It doesn't matter that you had told them not to, they have gained an experience, and that's what life is about.