Google+ Authentic Parenting: The Hunter And The Prey

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Hunter And The Prey

During the week I spent in Belgium, I got into this conversation with my sister in law - you probably know this kid of conversation, the one where you tell ever stronger stories of things that happened to you and to your friends. The common denominator is that it is about women being assaulted by men. Sometimes these stories might seem funny, because they seem to strange to be true and of course because the victim got out safe.

But there is not much fun in the nature of these stories. They are stories of victims after all. And this is what’s the worse part: it happens every day and it happens to all women. Generally more than once.
In my short lifetime I have seen 3 exhibitionists, I have been chased by males many times, I have felt coerced and manipulated by the other sex. And this is true for many many women.

It makes me think about that scene in “Six Feet Under” where some guys want to play a prank on a girlfriend of them and she ends up being hit by a car: she rather chose the insecurity of running into a street without looking than what was behind, a group a men chasing her.
This is the sad reality of women. I could give you statistics, but they would speak little, because many of these crimes are never reported. The women who got out of these situations are happy to have it over with and tell the story. Often these crimes are not even perceived as such.

Yet they are. Any situation in which a human being is being treated like an animal should be a crime. And being stalked and hunted, being held against your will, being coerced and manipulated and forced into things are inhumane.
They are crimes. They are not funny. They happen way too much. As long as we keep laughing at them, they will just pass by unaccounted for. As long as we keep finding excuses for these crimes, they will continue to happen.

And it doesn’t matter if the girl was wearing a skirt or a Burqa. It doesn’t matter if the girl was tipsy, straight out drunk or only had two peanuts and a coke. We shouldn’t ask what she was doing in that part of time at that time of day. It is not HER fault, so don’t treat the women as the criminal.


1 comment:

  1. In the US stalking is still supposed to be funny. If a woman does it's she's "crazy" and pathetic or else "crazy" and dangerous (think of the movie Fatal Attraction, or maybe don't think of it). But it's certainly not treated with seriousness and nuance. Victims of female-instigated violence are not treated seriously (esp. if they're male) or else the numbers are falsely inflated as to obfuscate the far more common male-on-female violence.

    As to stalker behavior in guys, well there are just so many t-shirts and jokes and bumper stickers and then you have the troublesome stuff like Twilight: classic obsessive stalker/controller behavior but it's viewed as all Romantical-like.

    Considering our very grim statistics on rape and harm instigated amongst partners and acquaintances our public perceptions and conversations are horrid, insensitive, and ineffective.

    Thank you for another great topic and your typical insight.


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