Google+ Authentic Parenting: The Best Kept Secret About Being A SAHM

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Best Kept Secret About Being A SAHM

When people talk about SAHM, they speak of them as martyrs, working a full time job, sacrificing themselves for their family, giving up their lives, unfeminist, putting their lives on hold - some might see it as a positive, some as a negative... But the common denominator is that people perceive staying at home with your child unmistakingly means giving up something else.
And many women believe this. They stay at home with their child and commiserate about the things they are missing, fantasize about what they would like to be doing instead.

It's an easy trip to fall into, because whenever this martyr woman does go out, she finds that she has nothing much to say to the high and mighty careerwomen she once knew. She returns home frustrated, sad and feeling less of herself. Maybe she even questions the necessity of her staying home. Maybe everyone would be better off if she did something useful?

But here's the secret: those high and mighty carreer women are not better off then you are, they don't even do something more interesting or challenging than a SAHM. If you forget all these presumptions and stop looking at the negative, you will see that not only are you doing something valuable, i.e. taking care of your child (now what can be more meaningful than nourishing the next generation), you have also gained something that people who work a job have very little of, and that's freedom.
You are now completely free to discover and pursue your interest. You are not bound by a timeframe other than yours and your babies (aroud which you can work, if you're creative). You're not limited to a location.You don't have to do anything, or do things in a certain order.

Of course, all of this goes for stay at home dads too, but since I am a woman, I wrote this post from a woman's perspective.



  1. Not Your Average Momma BearSeptember 7, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    I couldn't agree more! I have experienced both "lives"....I was a SAHM until my first marriage ended. It was a tough transition, one that was eased by a dear friend of mine who was also a SAHM. The difference for me between the two was holding onto that focused connection with my children. It was too easy to get lost in the hectic buzz...I have transitioned once again into SAHMotherhood. It's such a gift to have this opportunity again, and I plan on cherishing it as much as I can!

  2. I discovered that I was able to experiment with changing hygiene habits because while my body adjusted I could just stay home and nobody would notice--I only have to shampoo my hair once every week or so now because I was able to wean from shampoo, for instance. These are things I always wanted to try but couldn't until now because it wasn't socially acceptable.

    As I plan to homeschool my son I have a feeling there will be many experiments and plenty of pursuing interesting goals.

  3. Now I am even more jealous! Would love to be a SAHM! :D

  4. Yay!!

    Laura, dear, you rock!

  5. @ Momma Bear: this is so true, I used to go to the hairdresser every two months to get my hair dyed etc, now, I go once a year, no dying no brushing, au naturel


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