Google+ Authentic Parenting: Coming Of Age: How To Start Welcoming Your Girl Into Womanhood

Monday, August 16, 2010

Coming Of Age: How To Start Welcoming Your Girl Into Womanhood

written by DeAnna L'am 

Most of us were not welcomed into womanhood, and so our INNER MAIDEN is left inside hanging, waiting, unsure... As mothers, we vow to create a different experience for our daughters, only to find them running away! What is wrong with this picture?
The first stepping-stone to welcoming your daughter into womanhood is addressing YOUR Inner Maiden, who may have never been welcomed, or empowered, when you came of age!
The story of Menarche, our first period, is rarely told. 
It is interesting to note that women, who tend to share everything with one another (from first sexual encounters to stories of survival and recovery), are silent about this one...
We have come a long way as women... 
We became assertive. We broke through '
glass ceilings.' We combined careers with motherhood. We decided whether to become mothers or not. We can do it all... but do we enjoy the blueprint of our womanhood: our cycle???
The adolescent girl you once were, who may have never been welcomed into womanhood, is left inside you, dormant and waiting... You are mostly unaware of her presence, except you may have menstrual cramps, hate your periods, or see them as "nuisance," "bother," or "the curse."
Like Sleeping Beauty, the coming-of-age girl inside you is waiting to be awakened. 
But no Prince Charming is coming to wake you out of THIS sleep...
This is an internal job. YOURS!

So where do you begin? 

As Einstein said: you can't solve a problem from the same mindset that created it! Since the problem was created by rendering you invisible and ignoring your needs as a coming-of-age girl, the healing balm lies in being heard and witnessed...
Make time with one (or more) of your close women friends to tell the story of your first period. You will be astounded by the feelings of relief, comfort, and bonding that this simple act brings. Breaking this silence holds the key to your health and strength as a fully integrated woman. It also serves as the first stepping-stone to welcoming your daughter into womanhood...

I traveled a long way from seeing my period as a nuisance, to reclaiming it as my spiritual wellspring. 
Sharing the story of my first period, and holding space for women around the world to share theirs, is the essential ingredient in waking the Sleeping Beauty inside each of us.
Share your first period story with a close woman friend in your living room, in cafes, on park benches, or anywhere women get together to support one another through conversation. This is one step you can take today to start reclaiming the fullness of your "Woman Being." And it is a NECESSARY first step to prepare you for your daughter's Coming-Of-Age!

Is your daughter approaching puberty? Is she already there?
DeAnna invites you to discover what you need to know about talking to your her with comfort and ease right now. Visit to receive a free report: "The Most Common Mistakes Moms Make With Coming-Of-Age Girls, And How To Avoid Them!"

DeAnna L'am, speaker, coach, and trainer, is the author of Becoming Peers - Mentoring Girls Into Womanhood. Her pioneering work has been transforming girls' and women's lives around the world for over 20 years. DeAnna specializes in training Moms, Grandmas, Step-Moms, Aunts, and any woman with a special girl in her life - to become an inspiring role model; to deepen trust with her girl; and to develop ease and confidence about her girl's puberty and coming-of-age.

Image: Independentman on Flickr



  1. Interesting post!
    I did not have a nice experience myself, but made sure my teen was prepared at 10. She immediately came to me when it happened at the movies, and we could make a plan together!

  2. Lovely post. I would highly recommend "My Little Red Book" - a collection of stories from all round the workd, from women of all ages, recounting the stories of their first period. Wonderful reading. I recommend it to every mother to buy for her daughter. I know reading a book like this would have made my journey to womanhood much calmer and more positive.
    ( - there are many stories on this site as well).

  3. How sweet, MomAgain!

    Rachel, thanks for the recommendation!

  4. Yes, "My Little Red Book" is a very good read!

    I invite you to join some inspiring discussions at the Facebook page: Red Tents In Every Neighborhood:

    It is a forum where women share first- menstruation stories, inspiration about welcoming girls into womanhood, camaraderie and community :-)

  5. I was so embarresed at first when I found my shorts all red in the middle of PE class but my mother threw a dinner party for me invited my friends it was great and very unusual in Australia , my friends loved what my mum did for me and so did I !

    Why not celebrate its a huge milestone !


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