Authentic Parenting isn't just about parenting - as you might have noticed if you are a regular reader - it is also about soulsearching, personal betterment, sustainable living, and much more. More than a parenting style, it is a way of life. But one factor I seem to have neglected is partnership.
Most of us are indeed raising our children in some form of partnership, wether it be married or unmarried, same sex or mixed sex... Is the fact that I have given little attention to partnership and relationship an indication of something fundamental?
Do we spend as much time on our relationship as we do on our parenting? On ourselves?
If you don't want to give your relationship any consideration for your partner, or for yourself, you should consider doing it for the benefit of your child. The relationship we have with our significant other is a strong influence on our child's life.
The way his parents treat each other is the closest look any child can get into personal relationship, and will taint every close relationship he enters with another human being.*
|Comic: Geek And Poke|
If I am competely honest here, I have to admit that, whereas I do spend enormous amounts of energy in being an authentic parent, in creating the most loving and nurturing envrionment for my child, I do not when it comes to my husband.
I yell, I get angry, I get frustrated, I even call him names. I feel guilty about it and I know I should work at it, but I keep putting it off, finding excuses. I trick myself into thinking I haven't the time or energy to work at my relationship, or I tell myself it should come from my husband's side...
I know I am simply reenacting my parents dysfunctional relationship. I recognise the mechanics of what I do to my husband as those my father used on my mom - albeit in a slightly less evil manner.
'Working' on your relationship shouldn't be work at all, it is just a matter of tuning in. Tuning into yourself and your partner's feelings. Allowing yourself to feel the emotions, but finding creative solutions to frustrations and anger.
*Are You Programmed At Birth? by Bruce H. Lipton on Heal Your Life