A lot of parents value chores dearly. They see it as a way to
- teach their children responsability
- have them help around the house
- teach them tidyness
When I googled the definition of 'chore' it said:
- small routine task, especially domestic
- unpleasant task
This is why I don't agree with giving your chid chores
- It's yet another form of parental coercion
- Your children are not there to be your housekeeper
- Chores are not a way to 'teach' your child tidyness, rather a way to teach them to dislike housework
- In fact, children aren't thaught anything by performing chores like a monkey in a circus, since learning does not occur by applying external force
- There is no internalization when children are made to do chores, wouldn't you rather have them help you because they want to?
- What will your reaction be if they refuse to do the chore? Punishment?
A little anecdote:
My parents were very keen on chores, most of which were my job, because well, I was a girl. One of these chores I distinctly remember having to do was setting the table. Now, I do not dislike setting the table, and I can greatly enjoy making a nice table for a dinner party.
But since this was my task growing up, this meant I had to do it any time I as around the house. I even had to interrupt my activities to come and do it. Now while I might not have been bothered by setting the table, the mere fact that I had to do it made drag my feet. Made me stay in front of the TV a little longer, or pretend I didn't hear the call. Often with screaming, scolding and going to my room without dinner - or worse - as a result. I probably knew the outcome of not doing the chore, but being coerced into the chore was infinately worse, and made me refuse with every muscle of my body.
Still now, whenever I am over at my parents house, and it is table setting time, I think twice. I spend a couple of minutes in inner dispute. I don't want t he praise it might get me when someone notices me setting the table. I don't want the 'shouldn't you be helping your mother' when I don't.
Now isn't it sad that every time I want to help out at my parent's house I have to have an internal dialogue about the consequences?
The last time my father hit me, I was 23, married, had the flu and a fever of 39 degrees, and it was because I didn't set the table.