Google+ Authentic Parenting: 10 More Silly Questions You Shouldn't Ask Parents

Friday, July 9, 2010

10 More Silly Questions You Shouldn't Ask Parents

  1. Why don't you try a binky? Why suggest an artificial means of comfort if the mother is willing to offer the real thing?
  2. Are you even allowed to do that? Wether the topic is homebirth, homeschooling or breastfeeding pas one year, there are always sceptics who think we are somehow doing something wrong or illegal by these practices, however natural and intuitive they might be. Moreover, who would be the judge of what's allowed and what not? Don't you think there are things happening that are far worse that would be better deemed of such judging?
  3. How will they survive the real world if they don't go to school? Like school resembles the real world much. Unschoolers and homeschoolers ARE learning from and in the real world, they are gaining knowledge about themselves every day. They will grow up to be more critical about the real world, and probably more secure and prepared.
  4. Are you nursing that baby again? What would you like me to do? Let her go hungry?
  5. Isn't she only nursing for comfort? Yes, maybe she is, but what would it matter if she was looking for comfort and found it at her mother's breast? If anything, this great example of parenting should be applauded. 
  6. Shouldn't she be on some kind of schedule? Babies and toddlers are perfectly capable to autoregulate when it comes to food intake or sleep, imposing a schedule messes up thair natural rhytmn and will have deterior effects on their overall health later in life. Why would we want to schedule infants other than submitting them to our will and timeframes.
  7. You're going to try for a boy/girl this time, won't you? Why would sex matter that much anyway? This question assumes that having kids of the same sex is somehow unsatisfying.
  8. Are all those kids yours? How is it your business how many children one has? Where did we as a society suddenly start giving parents with more than average amount of kids dirty looks. 
  9. When will you be putting the next one under construction? This question can be either very hurtful, or very obnoxious. Just assume a couple has been trying to conceive for a long time and gets asked this every other week. Or that a family has decided to stick with the amount of kids they have right now. This is not a topic outsiders should meddle with. It is the right of each family to decide exactly how many children they want and how they want to space them. And if for one reason or other the spacing or amount of children does not go according to that couples wishes, why would you rub their noses in it?
  10. Is it going to be a boy? If expecting parents don't disclose the sex of their baby right away, then they either don't want you to know or don't know themselves. Your speculations are thus unwanted and unsolicited. 

This article is a follow-up to 'Silly Questions You Shouldn't Ask Parents'.

Image: Xurble on Flickr



  1. Hahaha yeah, I've gotten some really stupid questions and really stupid excuses from strangers. I had one lady tell me "Oh homeschool? That doesn't work" and went away with a huff. Silly people, I used to get mad, but now I just giggle at their ignorance :)

  2. Along with 8 and 9 we need to stop asking those without kids or singletons when they're going to have kids. Not everyone wants kids nor should we continue to assume they do!

    But. I do understand this list is a, "things not to say to PARENTS" list, so I'm a little off-topic.

    Great list and a great post as per usual!

  3. I hate when I have the baby is a wrap or meitai and I am asked, "Is she comfortable in there?" Well, she's sound asleep or looking around or smiling--doesn't seem like she's unhappy, now does it? (And don't even get me started about the bag sling recalls and how many people have taken it upon themselves to tell me my wraps are unsafe since all the mainstream media coverage didn't really seem to do a good job of stating which slings the warnings and recalls were for.)

  4. Great post! I came over via's post on Facebook. We have five kids, homeschool, homebirth, do all sorts of counter-cultural things and have been asked most of the above questions. Last weekend, at a family reunion, I was asked in a rather judgmental way, if we planned on having more children. I said that I'd love to but my husband wasn't sure. The next question floored me: "Well, are you at least on birth control?" I'm not sure what it is about family that makes them think they can cross the lines and ask questions they'd never ask anyone else.

  5. Hahahaha! "Are you even allowed to do that?" I get that (or a look that says that) all the time! Lemmings.

  6. Agreed, Kelly. :)
    Great list.
    I went through a painful time in between my children's births where I had two miscarriages. Well meaning, but ignorant people kept making comments about it being "time for another one" Now that I have two boys I'm getting the comment about "trying for a girl" As if a I had another son he would somehow have less value because of his gender.

  7. This isn't a major one but I have been asked why I use cloth diapers? Who's business is it what I choose to cover my baby's butt in? I love when you choose to go against the mainstream (but are actually doing something healthier and less expensive) you are met with disgust.

    Thought of another one-"Why don't you put him in the stroller?" No thanks. We are both happiest when I wear him.

  8. One of my favorite bad questions is "Is he a good baby?" What can I possibly answer to that?!! "No, he's terrible. I wish I could shove him back in and hit rewind?!"
    Also, my MIL asked me "How long are you going to breastfeed him? Until he's 6 or 7?" She looked really concerned... It was a sort of misguided way of trying to be supportive and therefore sort of cute.

  9. I second being asked how long I plan on breastfeeding. I have been asked numerous times (all before baby was 6 months old) if I am "going to be one of those mothers that breastfeeds until the baby is 5" That question is such a pet peeve of mine. It's none of your business how long we nurse nor is there anything wrong with full time/extended nursing. I blogged about it here.

  10. Ug and why did u circumsize? Like it their buisness what's in my kids pants?? And did he just eat? Lol kill me

  11. Knowing full well that i breastfeed my 12 month old, my MIL asked me the other day, "So is he still getting formula?" I was like... "he's never had formula--i'm breastfeeding him." she was like, "Well that's what i meant..." ?!? so we can't say "breastfeeding"??

  12. Add breastfeeding whilst pregnant to number 2. Oh, and "are you finished now that you have one of each?" My first child is a boy, the second is a girl. I'm in no way finished, God willing.


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