Google+ Authentic Parenting: The Odds Against Women

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Odds Against Women

No matter what path a woman chooses, it's like she can never win. There will always be someone to tell her that she is doing The Wrong Thing.

  • If she decides to stay at home, she is waisting her talent and education, she is being medieval and anti-feminist.

  • If she works at home, she isn't putting enough effort in her family.

  • If her husband stays home, she's a dominant bitch and her husband is whipped.

  • If she decides to have a family and work, she is neglecting her family.

  • If she puts her kids in daycare, she is lazy and doesn't want to take care of her kids.

  • If she employs any kind of personel around the house, she is lazy and can't take care of her home.

  • If she provides her family with secondary caregivers, she is too selfish to take care of her child herself.

  • If she takes time for herself, she is selfish.

  • If she does not, she's a slave to her family/career.

  • If she decides not to have kids, she is strange and unnatural.

  • If she calls herself a feminist, she's a bitch.

  • If she doesn't, she's medieval.

  • If she's sexually liberated she's a slut.

  • If she's not, she's frigid.

Most often, it's the Other Side throwing these judgements at us. But we shouldn't be waisting our energy on judging other women's choices, we should fight the system that made it so we can never win.



  1. Simone de Beauvoir in her book The Second Sex - Myth & Reality, said that is easier to see a woman united for cause with a man from the same social class than with women from diferent classes.

    I guess it's hard for woman to be compassionate with another woman if she doesn't agree with her. Maybe its because our world made us believe that we can't be friends, that other women is just waiting to catch our men... Well, it doesn't matter why it's like that, we need to change.

    I'm trying to knit a web of sisterhood around me and I'd really love to see this web turning into a giant wave of compassion and love made of women. We have the great power to heal with kisses and to transform a small embryo into a big baby! So I believe we can change whatever it needs to be changed.

  2. Too true! It's also true that as women we are the worst critics of each other's choices.

    stopping by from SITS

  3. It's that whole "damned if you do, damned if you don't" thing...

  4. Barbara, that's beautiful thought. I think a lot of problems could be solved if we stop being so hostile to one another. (now that doesn't mean I'm not guilty of this as well sometimes)

  5. I wish we could just accept that we are all doing the best we can with what we have, in the best interests of our own family. That we could share and learn from each other without guilt or feelings of judgment.

  6. I'd like to put to rest the idea that you can't be a feminist if you are a stay at home mom. As the president of my state chapter of NOW (National Organization for Women), I hereby declare the notion that stay at home mom's cannot be feminists, and notion that staying home with children is not "feminist," are myths. Thank you.

  7. Also: if a woman doesn't put her kids in daycare, she's stunting their social development


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