Google+ Authentic Parenting: Master of zen - lord of chaos

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Master of zen - lord of chaos

I might come off as totally in control, if you read my posts. I seem to have the answer to everything, right. Wrong. I try to be in control, I try to self reflect, I try to be a conscious parent. But it is a trial at best and sometimes I seriously fail.
Read this post at Raising my Boychick, and I could totally relate, hence this entry. She describes feeling like one day she's totally in control, and the next she's completely out of it. I feel the same way, thpugh for me, sometimes it even fluctuates the same day!
I think we are all capable to remain in control or a certain amount of time, and then we lose it again. Upon thinking about this a bit further, I found a number of variables influencing the amount of time one can stay on top of ones parenting game.

  • Hormonal state
  • Amount and quality of sleep
  • Length of your to do list
  • Noise level
    both general and the noise your children produce
  • Amount of time which has passed since you've had some quality alone time
    although this value is prone to further investigation, because there is the addiction factor of alone time and ultimately, as addictions go, you might have withdrawal effects right after alone time
  • Health
    It is quite logical we will be more irritable when we are sick or in pain
  • Degree of concentration
    When you are highly concentrated on something, you are more likely to get angry when being disturbed
  • Personality
    I think it speaks for itself that some people can cope better and longer than others
  • Time of day
    There's those moments of the day that are more difficult than others. Some like some quiet time in the morning, while others like to chill out after dinner, you get the picture.
  • External factors
    Of course there are days that are made even worse by things that are totally out of your control, like for example getting some bad news.
I think it would be quite possible to make a mathematical formula to calculate the amount of time you will be a zen parent, including all these variables, but I am hardly the mathematician to do so. For now, I think it is interesting to say the least to acknowledge these factors. While some of them are completely out of our control, other can be molded and modified, so considering them will be a good start in assessing how capable we are at any given moment.

And when it still gets to the boiling point, go and vent out, you might just come back exhilarated.
If you have any variables to add, feel free... maybe we'll get a formula out of this any way!



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