Saturday, January 8, 2011
Most parenting choices are age-old things that are embedded in our very nature!
When I was pregnant, I had all these ideas about parenting spooned in... by my mom, the media, friends. I sure wasn't going to let that baby sleep in my bed! That could only be bad for 'our couple'. No, my baby was going to sleep Alone, on his Back in a Crib.
Then the baby came and decided otherwise. Since she had to spend the first night of her life in neonatal care, she had firmly decided that would be the first and last night for a long while she would spend that far away from her mommy. And was she ever right!
One night she started throwing up in her sleep, but she kept sleeping, I try not to imagine what would have happened if she wasn't between us, if I hadn't immediately reacted. Would I have known? Neither do I want to imagine how it would be to breastfeed a child that doesn't sleep in the same bed (I'm not even talking another room here). And as far as that couple goes... It became a threesome the day the daughter was born. My husband is more than happy to sleep with his two girls, at least he gets to sleep and at least he has some time with his daughter - albeit asleep. Plus it's more than obvious you don't need to be in the bed to get busy. I'm very sorry, but if you make your cosleeping an excuse for not having sex, you probably wouldn't be having any otherwise (or very boring sex at the most ;) ).
But there were times we doubted, fearing we weren't "good parents", that she wasn't being a "good baby" and that what we were doing somehow wasn't normal. Fuck that! I have always known in my heart that was the way it should be, I just doubted myself due to social discours. I even attempted the Cry It Out method for like 3 minutes once. But to me, if you feel like you're falling to pieces because of a parenting squeeme you are trying, there must be someting wrong.
There's like another dozen of examples where my heart guided me to the attachment parenting way - way before I even knew attachment parenting existed, but I think you get the picture. We should all just connect to our inner selves some more and know that when it feels right, it probably is right!
This post is part of the 2010 API Principles of Parenting blog carnival, a series of monthly parenting blog carnivals, hosted by API Speaks. Learn more about attachment parenting by visiting the API website.