Google+ Authentic Parenting: Things society makes you think you need, but you don't (rerun)

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Things society makes you think you need, but you don't (rerun)

Ever since my daughter was born, I have been frustrated about all the useless things media and society make you believe you can’t go without when you’re becoming a parent.
From a marketing point of view, I get it, parents to be are vulnerable, they (generally) want to do the best they can for the child they have so desired. And what better way to provide for your child then to get a container load of baby stuff, right?
Wrong… so clearly wrong! When I think of all the money and time I’ve spent (and others have when buying our daughter presents), I get queasy.
So I thought, let’s make a list of all the things I got for my baby and never used.

1. A crib
What a useless invention this is. Daughter refused straight from birth to sleep in it and never has since (except for the time when she was newly crawling and ended up crawling away in our bed in the night, but even then she just slept in it a couple hours at night)

2. Stroller
Guess I used that maybe a dozen times, and then only to do a couple of yards. Who ever invented face-forward strollers anyway? When we’re in Europe, we do use a foldable one sometimes, she doesn’t mind as much there, because there’s so much to see.

3. Baby cot mobile
Well, obviously, since she didn’t sleep in her crib, we didn’t need this one either. My mom gave me one when DD was born, and it was a real sham. It was a music/movement thing, very cute, but the mobile never stopped turning, you literally had to yank it out to have it stop (which eventually meant no more sleeping baby, so all that trouble for nothing)

4. Love nest
Basically a pillow which prevents flat head from lying in the same position all the time. Again, since we ended up co sleeping, no need for this.

5. Premaxx baby bag
Not only is that thing super uncomfortable, it’s dangerous and even lethal!

6. Baby cook
You know, the mixer/steam cooker thing. We naturally evolved to baby led weaning, so we never really used that

7. Pacifier
We got and bought a shitload of these crappy thing, never needed them and baby never wanted them, luckily! It interferes with breastfeeding (nipple confusion etc), bad for teeth and so on and so on.

8. Pacifier cord
See previous. And anyway, you can’t use these things when baby is sleeping because they could strangle themselves. You can’t use them when they’re awake because they could strangle themselves…

Wow, I didn’t really make that big of an effort and I already have eight useless things stored in my closet. Of course, a lot depends on the parenting style you go for, but when you go for a natural/attachment kind of approach, you don't need that much of anything, really. Just a big pile of love and cuddles.



  1. I agree! And I also agree with your follow up blog on this. I'm about to have baby #2 and the ONLY thing left that I HAVE to buy are nursing bras. Oh and some diapers would be nice... we're going cloth this time. I can hardly wait!

  2. I agree with all of these except #8. We don't use pacifiers (or dummies since we are in UK) but I've found the dummy cords fantastic for attaching small toys and teethers to highchairs, car seats, slings, baby's clothes etc. LOL

  3. I bought a bunch of nice nursing bras, and have used one of them... once! It's so much easier to just fold my regular bra down. I guess it just depends on your nursing style...

  4. What's wrong with the Premaxx? I don't have that but a similar sling (Babasling) and although I've never used it when Lime was newborn we use it now for short trips or when she doesn't want to be in her buggy just takes her weight off my arms and back. Oh and on the stroller thing: we have a pram/buggy which can face both ways and a stroller that sits in the car for those short trips away when your arms really ache...). I love my pram BUT I also love wearing her. I have three different carriers and ALWAYS make sure that she doesn't only sit in her pram. (Her daddy also loves carrying her in his arms which he tends to do all the time)

    Sorry, I'm going on here. What I'm trying to say is: I agree totally apart from the pram but as usual in life: it's up to the individual ;)


  5. I used the premaxx once when she was but a few weeks old and it hurt my shouler like hell. Plus they're known to cause suffocation. But indeed on toddlers they'd probably work fine. (I'd still be worried about all the weight on one shoulder)
    I do have to write a little update about the stroller, we did start using it once she turned about two and half. SHe tends to save her energy for play so doesn't walk long distances and after seeing her friends in strollers she wanted in too, but in our living situation, it wasn't really useful when she was younger (I think in Congo it would even be worse)

  6. Yep completely agree. Love #1. We had a crib for our daughter and used it for about 6 weeks, in between bouts of co-sleeping. We didn't even put it up for our son - he's 16 months now and once he's out of our bed, he'll go straight to a regular bed with a safety rail.

    We do enjoy our umbrella stroller now he's older and it is useful for keeping him in one place when that's important (e.g., his older sister's swimming lesson change times etc). I can only carry him for short periods in his sling/Ergo because of hip problems. But I wouldn't buy one now - we'd make it work :)

  7. lol the biggest waste of my money ever? a freakin' crib. if this baby doesn't use it either, I'm gonna just take it down and sell it or something... so useless..

  8. Oh yeah, those premaxx things do look unsafe, but not all baby carriers are!! We love our Ergo!!
    And the crib was actually great for us. I wanted to co-sleep and didn't even set up our crib until 38 weeks pg, thinking we may use it for a nap here or there... but baby had different plans! Co-sleeping did not go well and he preferred to sleep in his crib almost literally from day 1!! It's been great to have that.


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